My Immortal
by AngelofMist
Summary: I wanted to publish this the night of the crescent moon. Oneshot Songfic SessKag. Sesshomaru has always been known to be cold but how does he feel when his precious mate develops a fatal sickness? What about everything she might leave behind?


**Disclaimer****: I do not own Inuyasha. **

**Well, this made me cry while writing it and thinking about it. So, all you SessKag lovers, have some tissues ready! Hopefully it was sad enough to make you cry...Oh yeah, you get the full effect when you listen to the song while reading it, it's called My Immortal by Evanescence (Don't ask me why the title of the song makes NO sense)**

Sesshomaru walked his castle's halls, walking slowly but gracefully down the stairs. His eyes remained cold as she glanced at some of the servants who bowed at him as he walked past them. When he reached the designated room, he stopped and opened the door.

It was an elegant bedroom, intended to be designed for the best. On the bed sat a small boy, who was trying to color a book that his mother had given him. Sesshomaru walked over to the small boy who had raven colored hair and golden eyes. He had a crescent moon on his head and one two stripes on each cheek. It was said he had his mothers face, the pout-shaped lips, an adorable nose; he looked like his mother, other than his markings, fangs and nails. He was a full demon, the request of his mother on a sacred jewel. The boy looked up to Sesshomaru and smiled a wide grin, showing his pearl white fangs.

"Ohayo, otou-san!" The child greeted. Sesshomaru merely patted his son's head. And replied with a barely audible "Ohayo."

"Where is Rin?" Sesshomaru asked his son.

"Rin-chan is getting me something to eat." The boy replied obediently. "May I go see okaa-chan?" Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed slightly at the boy's request as he sighed.

"Your okaa-chan is sleeping Kageru..." Sesshomaru said. There was a weird silence between the two as Sesshomaru kneeled so that he was at eye level with Kageru. "Go play with Rin."

"Hai." Kageru responded as he proceeded to run to Rin. Sesshomaru stopped him by putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Kageru...you love you're okaa-chan...Correct?" Sesshomaru asked. Kageru rolled his eyes and smiled.

"More than anything. But I love otou-san too." Kageru replied and hugged his father. He stayed like that for a while before he left to obediently obey his father's wishes. Sesshomaru watched his son leave the room silently, then stood and left the room, heading toward his bedroom.

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

His steps seemed to be agonizing as he dragged his feet up the stairs. He inhaled a breath of air as jasmine and lavender flooded his nose as he sighed in delight. The remaining smell was devastating to him. Her scent always calmed him but it was laced with something he didn't like. He hated walking in his castle each day, only to smell it all again. Her scent filled the castle, must to his delight and disgust.

He was afraid, he hand never been afraid of anything up until a few weeks ago. Fear was a weakness he refused to have but he couldn't help it. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was something that was bound to happen soon.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

He reached the master bedroom and slowly slid the door open, revealing a figure lying in his bed. The scent was strongest here and he walked over to his bed to look at the weary female in his bed. Every time he saw her something in his chest would ache. His heart. Something he realized he had a few years ago when the same female showed him. He hated seeing her like this. A growl escaped his mouth as he knew there was nothing he could do. He'd fix it if he could but it was impossible, he never felt so..._**helpless**_. His growl made the female look at him.

"Sesshomaru..." She whispered.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

He made the back of his palm glide across her cheek affectionately. She smiled at him, a sad smile. She tried to look happy but she couldn't. She didn't want him to worry about her but it couldn't be helped. She tried to sit up in her bed but a hand held her down.

"Kagome...you need your rest." Sesshomaru told her.

"I don't want to spend all day in here, let me at least see Kageru." Kagome asked.

"I do not wish for him to see you like this." Sesshomaru said. Kagome sadly laid back down in the bed, her eyes staring at Sesshomaru. He stared at her, trying to remember every moment he had with her. He remembered when he decided to take her in his castle.

He found her by the Bone Eaters Well, crying with her face in her hands. In her lap was the completed jewel. She told him that the well had sealed, and she could not return to her home, she cried about her mother and everyone she would miss. He walked over and kneeled so that he was at eye level with her. He gently used his thumb to wipe her tears, her flinching under his touch while staring at him wide-eyed. He offered for her to stay with him, something to make her happy. She did not please him when her eyes were red and puffy and she looked so broken.

After a year here, he heard her scream and rushed to her room. She was crying in her sleep and turning in her bed. He gently woke her up and she stared at him. He was stunned when she hugged him fiercely, seeming like she was doing her best to crush him in her grip. He slowly hugged back and then released her and stood up. She had related her nightmare to him as he nodded and left. She surprised him when she slowly asked for him to stay with her. His eyes widened but she could not see it due to his back facing her. He complied and laid in her bed, her clutching his arm until she fell asleep. When he heard her even breathing, he wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into his chest without waking her up. He remembered that night as the best he'd ever slept, her scent lulling him into a deep sleep.

Those days were far gone; she no longer held the joy and happiness in her eyes. They were replaced with sadness and she was now sick in her bed. The men in her era diagnosed her with a disease he learned to be called 'cancer'. They said it was in something he heard to be a 'pancreas'.

_**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me**_

He kneeled by her and placed a kiss on her cheek. She smiled at him but she saw everything through his eyes. She poked him playfully in the chest, trying to lighten his mood. He showed her a smile, but she knew it wasn't real. He began to reminisce again.

He remembered all the battles he'd seen her fight, her bows radiating with a bright light. He was always impressed by how much power she held without knowing it. She glowed with such innocence and happiness, one his half-brother couldn't realize before he lost her. But she was happier with him, not with Inuyasha but with him; he truly made her happy.

He always wondered what would happen to Kageru, the child seemed to be reliving his life, and that was not what he wanted. His mother died when he was young, making him cold to the rest of the world before he met Kagome. He didn't want his son to be like that, there was so much to life he missed due to being a cold taiyoukai. He started to have nightmares weeks ago. Nightmares about Kagome, Kageru, someone taking them away, him losing everything he ever loved. Love. It was a weakness he was proud to have. It changed him drastically but he never regretted it.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

His attention was drawn back to Kagome when she coughed lightly. He drew small circles in her stomach, trying to soothe her in anyway. He'd never felt such pain before, his heart ached in agony. He didn't want to lose her, he couldn't. What about Kageru? He needed a mother. He could feel the tears collecting at his eyes, he felt them glaze over his eyes and he looked away from Kagome. Refusing for her to see him so weak...so pitiful...so pathetic... He blinked and several tears fell down his cheeks.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

Kagome turned his head towards her and used her thumbs to wipe his tears. He was supposed to be the one doing that to _**her**_. Not the other way around. She kissed his cheek as he squeezed her hand in his. She squeezed back.

"Don't be afraid. It's okay." Kagome said.

"Do not talk to me like I'm some child. I refuse to accept this." Sesshomaru said. "Maybe I can fix the Tensaiga..." The Tensaiga had broken due to Naraku and his tentacle. Sesshomaru was careless so Naraku broke his father's fang, trying to prevent anyone from surviving the battle a few years ago.

"There's no time Sesshomaru..." Kagome said. "Stop crying, there's barely any pain. I'm not suffering. It's just a part of life that comes to everyone eventually." Sesshomaru growled loudly at her comment.

"I will not accept this Kagome." He growled. "You were supposed to die when I die, this disease was not supposed to take you away from me. I refuse to believe there is nothing that can be done."

"You always were so stubborn." Kagome giggled softly "But that's part of the reason why I love you so much." She said like she was cooing a baby. She was trying so much to cheer him up; to make him happy but she knew if was futile. There was a pregnant silence between them before Sesshomaru decided to speak.

"Gomen nasai..." Sesshomaru said softly. "I promised to protect you...not to let anything happen to you. Now, when you need it most, I cannot do anything to help you..."

"I don't blame you Sesshomaru...for any of it. But, Arigatou, for showing my how happy I could be, for giving me everything and all I've asked for. I'm glad though, the best years of my life...were spent with you." Kagome said. Sesshomaru wished she would stop. His eyes were stinging and he couldn't take the pain in his chest. "Can you do me a favor though?"

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**_

"Anything." Sesshomaru said.

"Can you tell Kageru that I'm sorry?" Kagome asked. "Tell him I loved him so much. And I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I don't want him to hate me for leaving him. I cherished him."

"I will." Sesshomaru replied as he kissed her hand that was still in his. When she left, He would be alone again. He was used to it up until a few years ago, and he never wanted to feel alone again.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

He'd never give his heart to another, she was the only one who had and will ever have his heart. All his secrets, his feelings, they die along with her. Everything of him, never to be spoken about ever again. He'd been with her all these years. He'd never let her go. She'd always be on his mind until he too joined her.

"I love you Sesshomaru, remember that." She smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek and she hit him in the arm. He chuckled lightly.

"I love you too." Sesshomaru said. "Remember me, wherever you go, I'll never truly leave you." Sesshomaru squeezed her hand tighter and cupped her cheek, loving the warmth she always had. He pressed his lips against hers roughly in a heartbreaking way. So much care, love, all he felt in one kiss. She kissed him back, wanting to do her best to make him know without a doubt that she loved him. A tear fell from her cheek and a tear from his eye dropped on her face. He made the kiss last for as long as he could until he knew she needed air. But, when he pulled away she did not take in any air. His hand that was placed on her cheek no longer felt any warmth. Her face looked content...happy. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be only in a dream. He kissed the crescent moon on her forehead, the one that marked her as his, one last time and reluctantly released her hand.

"...All my love...Kagome..."

_**Owari...**_


End file.
